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| See, he's looking a little blue! |
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| I wonder, if i painted myself blue could I get away with calling it a work related illness? |
If there's a delay in your presents this year, you'll know why! I'd leave out some Anadin or possibly Cocodamol this year
as opposed to the mince pie and wine! Mince pies are yucky anyway!
| It's your favorite red nosed friend! |
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| ... or is it? |
Everyone says Santa is just a man dressed up. It's true right? Wrong, new evidence has come to light suggesting that Rudolph,
his red nosed companion, is the true fake! Even worse than the knowledge that Rudolph's nose is of a naturally pinkish hue,
is the fact(or so we hope to prove) that he is not even a reindeer! As i am informed by the top detectives at G****e, this
man(picture left) is the notorious impersonator!
The reason behind this dispicable crime is one so vile, I shudder to type it. ''Rudolph'', unknown to his unsuspecting
victims, has been running a carrot thieving operation right from under our chimneys, for 20 years! His motive is a simple
one, when Tesco runs out of carrots he needs to find the final ingredient for his Christmas dinner, right from your very own
home! So this year, think twice about leaving a carrot for the reindeer, surprise this thief and dump a nice pile of sprouts
by the fireplace! The real reindeers enjoy them just as much, but our fur-less impostor, oh so unfortunately, finds them quite
revolting! A bonus is that you yourself do not have to suffer the tiny tasteless cabbages with your turkey(or nut roast)!
(if, like me, you actually think sprouts are rather delicious, then please leave another vile veggie in their place.)
Thank-you, always watch the news!
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